Mostly for the fact that I think it would be most therapeutic and that I might be able to analyze myself from the free flowing thoughts that run through my head.
Over and over the one constant is fear of failure. Why I just don't know?
I've been told my entire life by people, not just family, that I seem that I'm destined for success. I have a great mind and I'll go far. Your creativity knows no bounds. Blah Blah Blah.
Bullshit? Maybe. Maybe not. Perhaps I haven't found myself yet. Which is sad because I'm going to be 27 in a week. Currently it's not as if I don't like my job, because I do, I think I just need to get to that part where it feels like second nature. There's been so much information/responsibility thrust upon me so quickly plus I need to do well in order to make money.
I hate that success is nearly based upon that. Money. Can't we go back to bartering?
I think that perhaps I'm not as outgoing or confident as I always thought I was... either that or I just need to find my confidence within this new job so I am able to turn it into a career.
I think that is what needs to happen.
Anywho, for my birthday I don't know what to do. Some friends are going to come into town and my local friends, some of them I haven't seen or talked to in weeks so that sucks. Chris wants me to just throw a party at my home. I do want to get a group of people for dinner on Friday then Saturday, a day time outing then a party at my house.
We'll see I suppose. I just want to have fun and want these weekends to not seem so short. HA! I did get to sleep in for once today. Heading to bed now so I can wake up super early. Monday = ClientBuilder. This week sucked so I'm gonna hear it tomorrow. Guh.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment